Six high school students have been charged following a long investigation into the tragic suicide of fifteen year-old Phoebe Prince, who killed herself on January 14 after being bullied in school, on Facebook, and through text messages in South Hadley, Massachusetts. As reported by WWLP News:
District Attorney Scheibel said that Phoebe was bullied regularly for three months on school grounds. Phoebe’s mother reported the bullying twice to school officials, but nothing was done about the problem. The staff will not be facing any criminal charges, but Scheibel called it “very troublesome.”
On March 19, the Massachusetts House passed a strong anti-bullying bill 148-0 that will be reconciled with an already-passed Senate version and that the Governor has promised to sign. According to the Boston Globe:
[The legislation] requires school officials — bus drivers, cafeteria workers, teachers, and others — to report bullying to a school’s principal. The bill defines bullying, in part, as “the repeated use by a perpetrator of a written, verbal, or electronic expression, or physical act or gesture . . . directed at a victim that causes physical or emotional harm or damage to the victim’s property; places the victim in reasonable fear or harm to himself or of damage to his property; [or] creates a hostile environment at school.’’ If principals determine that the bullying constitutes a criminal act, they would be required to report the incident to law enforcement.
The increasing reports of incidents of bullying and violence among children in schools nationwide, despite a plethora of so-called “bully-proofing” programs implemented in most schools as a way to target such issues, raise serious questions about overall school and classroom culture and climate.
Every student, parent and teacher knows that bullying does not start in high school. We also know that talking about bullying does not stop bullying. It takes courageous action to stand up to a bully whether you are in third grade, sixth grade, middle or high school. You don’t just find that courage in your backpack one day. You have to learn it in school and at home just like you learn to read. You learn it from lessons taught to you by your parents about standing up for someone if you see them being picked on and reporting it to a grown-up right away. You learn it in class during Morning Meeting (or problem-solving class meetings) or during the Circle of Power and Respect in middle school. Teachers trained in Responsive Classroom or Developmental Designs have learned strategies and developed approaches that teach children skills in cooperation, assertion, responsibility, empathy and self-control – the life-long social skills that help keep us and others around us safe and sound. These specific skills have to be taught.
Teachers can teach children calming-down strategies, conflict resolution strategies, and problem-solving strategies — yet still peer pressure is a powerful social force. Schools must work with this force proactively through partner activities in the classroom, buddy activities between younger and older students, school-wide events, and community-service activities. Teachers must teach children how to specifically appreciate each other’s special talents and differences, model appreciation through thank you circles and thank you note writing, and teach apologies of action. There are many concrete ways to powerfully integrate strong social lessons in nearly any academic lesson by taking a moment to link the learning to something in our students’ personal lives.
It is, finally, up to our school leaders (and our national education leaders) in this day and age of racing to the top — focusing on high stakes testing, academic accountability, and global economic competition — to send a clear, unequivocal message to our teachers that the whole child comes first. In the final analysis, we do not want any bystanders in our schools, either in the social or academic arena. We need to spend enough time teaching our children how to stand up for themselves, how to stand up for each other, and how to carry on the great ideas of our democracy while, at the same time, we teach them how to read, write and compute. Their lives are in the balance.
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I love using puppets in my discussions with my students. I act out problems I see developing in my classroom and am amazed at the way my students relate to the puppets! They don’t even see me sitting behind the puppet theater! Every day we make it a point to say good morning to each other and then do something together. I hope these experiences bring my students closer and they see how important it is to talk about our problems and share our ideas.
Dear Elizabeth – Your important comment, echoed so frequently by teachers and principals, tells us how much children have to be taught about what an apology really is and means. As you know, this led Responsive Classroom to develop the concept of Apology of Action which ,when taught and modeled carefully in a classroom, instructs children that two people have a part to play in an apology. Readers may want to reference Appendix C in Teaching Children to Care by Ruth Charney or the Winter 1998 RC Newsletter article by Mary Beth Forton. Chip
I find that children need extra help these days learning how to make and accept an apology with sincerity and dignity. I feel strongly that, if we are to teach our children that their words and deeds have true power, we must be careful not to push children to make their apology before it is truly heartfelt.
I am very careful when an apology is offered, that the receiving child learn to say “I accept your aplogy” or ‘I forgive you” or simply “thank you.” In their relief and rush to be back in relationship, I find the phrase that springs most readily from a child’s mouth is often “that’s okay!” When that happens, I intervene. I want to avoid any confusion – unkindness is never “okay!”
Lisa – I would send you directly to Calthas Crowe’s new book SOLVING THORNY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS – HOW TEACHERS AND STUDENTS CAN WORK TOGETHER. Read Chapter Five first on Class Meetings with lots of specific examples like ” The boys are making fun of me” (p. 213.) You will be amazed by the ste-by-step specificity. Having led these meetings in my own classrooms I can attest to their power to build community and to teach children pride in problem-solving.
I would like to start a friendship building and problem solving group for primary age students at my school. Could you suggest some Responsive Classroom resources to help me get started?
Great Question, Kelly. So many different people have lunch and recess duty and we need to keep communication flowing and yet be circumspect about how we share it. And there’s so little time to do that. As you indicate keeping records, even for the individual classroom teacher, is difficult.
It would be great to hear if anyone has developed some kind of a recess log system. I would think just having such a log in the principal’s office or assistant principal’s office or with a behavior interventionist, would be a start… a place for duty teachers or paras to leave a note that could be passed on to a classroom teacher or followed up for parent contact etc. One thing I would caution strongly against is the temptation (these days) to create any kind of electronic log.
As an elementary school teacher, I can’t tell you how many times I have dealt with this. Sadly, I am guilty of not always taking it seriously… sometimes it can be tricky determining whether or not something is “tattle-telling” or bullying… I am a huge fan of keeping a behavior journal in my classroom. It’s my behavior “gradebook” and while it took almost an entire year to train myself to write in it, it was worth every effort.
Would it be unreasonable to expect that our lunchrooms and recess monitors keep a journal where they also can record inncidents with behavior? I actively seek out this feedback with reagrd to my own students, but it would be nice to have accountability for ALL students when they are not with us. So much of bullying is taking place outside the classroom when at recess, lunch, or on the bus. Does anyone have suggestions for providing communication and documentation during these times?
I love using puppets in my discussions with my students. I act out problems I see developing in my classroom and am amazed at the way my students relate to the puppets! They don’t even see me sitting behind the puppet theater! Every day we make it a point to say good morning to each other and then do something together. I hope these experiences bring my students closer and they see how important it is to talk about our problems and share our ideas.
Amy – You’re right on! A great way to share with building administrators (besides forwarding this post) is to have students invite their principal to a Thank You Circle or Problem Solving Class Meeting to see what kids are learning about putting empathy to work. Ask your building principal to lead or participate in a role play at an All School meeting about what a student might say to stand up to a bully who was making fun of a student at recess. It’s so important for students to see their principal leading activities like this and not just in disciplinary situations. Just having kids send an invitation to principals to come to Morning Meeting on a specific day and asking them to share about what they did when they were kids and they saw bullying going on or to let kids tell the principal as a group about things they might be worried aboout on the playground that can lead to bullying like how teams are chosen or who referees games, No question…leadership matters, and sometimes, a nudge from the kids is just the ticket for overly busy administrators to step up and back up classroom teachers as you urge!
I am a firm believer in Responsive Classroom and that if it’s done right it can really help alleviate a lot of these issues at a young age. But we need our administrators to back up classroom teachers in this fight. Anti-bullying legislation is only as good as those who are enforcing it! Let’s share this with building administrators and boards of education so that they are aware of this law and can take action to put it into effect!!