Nine is not always an easy age, but it is an age of growing social awareness, of intellectual stretching, wondering, and clamoring These are the “ing,” kids, the “dangling participles” easily misunderstood, the kids who are doing, encouraging, questioning,  doubting, arguing…sometimes seemingly just for the sake of it, with no clear antecedents for their actions always readily apparent. Yet there is a deep inner stirring in nine-year-olds as they become profoundly aware of the intricacies and subtleties of the world around them. Nowhere have I seen this better captured than in a poem by Billy Collins, which appears, with permission, in my book, Yardsticks. It’s called “On Turning Ten.”

Nines need teachers and parents to bring a good sense of humor and a determined lightness to the children’s introspection and challenges. Hyperbole abounds in nine year olds. You’ll hear “This is so boring!” (translation: “This is hard!”) and “I can’t believe we have to do this!” (translation: “I don’t get this”).

“Fairness” begins to become a constant issue toward the end of the ninth year in fourth grade and continues into the beginning of fifth grade (check out the children’s book Nothing’s Fair in Fifth Grade by Barthe DeClements). Parents and teachers: Do not take this personally; the children own this territory!

These cognitive challenges are more than mere posturing by nines. Rather, they are signs of a remarkable developing resilience and intellectual curiosity, signs of maturing moral character and independent thought, signs of nines’ industriousness and impatience with the ways adults have made the world they begin to see they will have the power and responsibility to change.

Nine is an age of learning a lot. Each child’s individual personality and way of presenting himself or herself to their peers and the meaningful adults in their lives stands out in clear relief at this age of reflection and beginning awareness of what adulthood has in store. As children enter the preadolescent years and become full-fledged “tweeners,” they especially need patient listening and understanding from the adult models in their lives.