Sometimes I have to be reminded how important it is to go back to the beginning with children when trying to solve a social problem between two of them, whether it is in the 2nd or 5th grade. The problem itself may seem insurmountable at the time. It could be about friendships or about a “borrowed” object, or a secret. You try to mediate or talk it out, but the two just don’t seem to be getting anywhere.
I’ve often found in many of these instances that the two children just don’t know each other very well. They don’t have a very secure relationship foundation from which to solve a problem. There’s not much trust happening. Here’s a simple strategy I learned years ago from colleague Ruth Charney that I’ve employed with some success. You might want to try to see how it works for you.
I tell the two children we’re going to stop the conversation and try again tomorrow (before school, or at recess, lunch, after school, or during a period that works for you…this will take about 20 minutes to a ½ hr and it can be a logical consequence for solving their issue). When you next meet, have a table set up with a checker board and two chairs. Have the children sit down facing each other and make sure they both know how to play checkers (if not, you can teach them as you go along.) Tell them this game of checkers will have a little twist. Each time a player makes a move, they have to ask the other player a question, like “Do you have any brothers or sisters? Or “What is your sister’s name?” or “What is your favorite holiday?” or “Do you like to swim?” etc. Back and forth the questions and answers go as the checkers game goes on. Sounds easy? You’d be surprised. At the end of the game, the contestants are required to shake hands and congratulate each other on a game well played no matter who won. Usually I do not discuss the problem further at this point. It often will resolve itself. If not, we now have a foundation to fall back on the next time we discuss it.
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A great activity for a class of 12 to work on greater understanding (depending on their age) is a simple debate. Give them a topic like: ” THE LUNCHROOM to debate. One group of six is assigned the perspective “Children should be allowed to sit with anyone they want to in the cafeteria.” The other six are assigned the perspective “Children should have assigned seats three days a week and free seating two days a week.” Each group should present their point of views and rebuttals and another class (of older children) should give them some feedback on their debate skills and also their ability to listen and learn from each other. Then see how they do with each other on the issue that is concerning you on the playground. If that issue continues, bring it into debate format. Chip
It is really good strategy to make two children understand and know each other in using game. In deed, it is difficult for teachers to manage classes because some children show their preference for their classmates. Using this method, teachers could organize well their class.
I’d like to know if I use this strategy not only 2 children but whole class, it is also effective. There are 12 students in my class.
Anne
To the reader who asked about what strategy might be applied to a group of 6 boys who are fiercely competitive on the playground and that this behavior is spilling over in the classroom —perhaps a cooperative learning academic assignment, say in reading or social studies or science, with a tightly scored rubric (for the internal competititon against a score)that they would all have to contribute to with you as the scorekeeper, could help them to see the value of each other’s talents and rekindle friendships again. Chip
Any thoughts as to how this could be applied to a group of 6 boys whose fiercely competitive nature on the playground is affecting their friendships in the classroom?