As parents and teachers we hear them every day. What can we do about it?

Children can say the cruelest things, but often they are unaware of the impact of their words on others because the words are so much a part of their common vernacular at school and in the neighborhood.

Recently at school we have been involved in continuing activity to address issues of bullying that often begin with verbal harrassment or bullying that can be as hurtful as a punch or kick. In some ways we are addressing the issue by undressing the words; that is, making sure that the children know what the words they are using mean and the impact they might have on another. Also we focus on the role of the bystander who may hear the hurt in the words and not know what to say.

For instance, in a fourth and fifth grade class last week we noticed how many of the mean words brainstormed by the children dealt with the way they see each other at school. IDIOT, MORON, RETARD, DUMMY, STUPID, LOSER …all dealt with the inability to navigate the world of school achievement. We then went on to create some responses in poetry. Here’s a compilation of responses from the 5th grade room:

Mean Words In Fifth Grade
When you say faggot, I feel scared and threatened,
It makes me not want to be your friend.
When you say moron, it makes me want to curl up in a ball.

When you say idiot, I feel like I am an idiot.
When you say jerk, it makes me want to say mean things to you!

When I hear someone say retard, I feel odd and left out.
It makes me want to go in a dark place.
When you say faggot it makes me want to leave.

When you say wimp, I feel like punching a door. I feel powerless.
When I hear you say jackass, it makes me want to go into a closet and get locked in.
Sometimes it makes me want to run away because it hurts me inside.

When you use the “N” word it make me want to cry. It makes me feel offended.
It makes me think of  “The Children’s March” where that word was used terribly.

When I hear all these words I feel weird because I don’t say them;
It makes me wonder why people say all these mean words.

BLOGGERS – How do you deal with mean words in your school settings? Ideas more than welcome!