Our children’s emotional, social, physical and cognitive growth has as its ultimate goal mature independence for life. “Mature independence” is acquired in small steps over time, day by day, month by month, year by year.

Maria Montessori understood that such independence was attained by providing carefully constructed experiences for children under the watchful eye of teachers who were trained to be extraordinary observers ahead of their roles as academic instructors. She created such classroom areas and activities as “Practical Life” where children had the opportunity to use sponges to learn and practice using sponges to wipe up messes, or how to manipulate a broom and dustpan, or how to use a knife and slice apples for snack, all dependent on their developmental maturity and inclinations.

Mature independence for cognitive growth requires that teachers and parents model and practice with children such activities as independent reading and response writing, homework expectations, rubrics explaining expectations for project assignments, how to prepare for a test.

Likewise in social, emotional development, children need to role play and practice how to invite a friend to lunch, to play at recess, to do a partner activity in the classroom, to invite a friend for a play-date. Practicing (rather than just telling and expecting) the four or five steps in the getting-ready-for-bed or getting-ready-for-school routines at home can help children feel increasing independence toward their responsibilities.

The older children get, the more independence they want, and the more careful practice they need. We cannot assume that because we have practiced some of these skills at age six that they will be retained at age 16. Children learn responsibility and achieve independence in different areas and with differing developmental understanding at different ages. That’s why Driver Education is no longer the purview of parents in most places in the United States anymore. Teenagers do much better with outside-the-family role models and adults who have “patience certification” to practice the skills of acceleration and braking with them with some objectivity.

In the development of the brain regarding self-control, we also know that the potential for full “mature independence” is likely not fully to be realized until the early twenties. All of us, to be sure, are still working on “mature independence” issues in our adult roles as parents and teachers. The more we model and practice with the children, the more we will continue to mature and gain in wisdom ourselves.

What “practical life” activities have you found most useful for your children as parents or as teachers in the classroom?  Click on the “Comments” link below this blog entry to add your thoughts to the conversation.