Perhaps the greatest joys of being parents are the small moments of watching and listening to what our children are doing and saying around the house when they are  playing with us, cooking with us, setting the table and doing other chores with us. Also, we delight watching them at soccer or dance, tackling an ice-cream cone or an orange, playing with friends, real or imaginary.

Arranging quality child-care is a significant priority these days for parents since our children spend ever increasing amounts of time away from us before and after school. This makes our own observation of our children both more precious and more important as we keep our eyes and ears open for what delights our children both when they are with us and apart from us and what is producing anxiety for them while they are with us and apart.

Observation is the natural course of parenting. “Baby books” are created from observations; photo albums trace development, along with visits to the pediatrician and the yardstick measurements in the doorways of your homes. Parents hold “seminars” on development while they watch their children at gymnastics or baseball, the school play or in the school parking lot.

All these shared observations matter for they both create confidence and reinforce that your parenting is on the right track. Comparisons can also create anxiety that your child is not keeping up or fitting in. In these times it is so important to return to the truth of what you see in your own child, for the power of the love you transmit is far more important to your child’s growth than your worry about some aspect of their development–worry that is inevitably is picked up by your child.

In moments when you need another set of ears and eyes, I offer both my book, Yardsticks: Children in the Classroom, Ages 4-14, and this blog. If you have a question about your child at a particular age, the book is arranged for you to see what is “age-appropriate” in all the major areas of development. I am also happy to post a comment in response to specific questions you may have about your child based on my own experience.

Just so you know, these questions really never end. Watching my three year old granddaughter in her Saturday morning dance class, I could not help but compare her to the other threes to mark her development. As all the girls “skipped” across the dance floor, her mom noted with a smile, “she hasn’t quite got that yet.” The key to this observation for me, was the mother’s smile, love and acceptance of uniqueness of her daughter’s growth. I smiled back, a better grandfather.